Verbal Assassin: Learn The Language Patters of Self Defense And Never Be Insulted, Manipulated or Taken Advantage of Ever Again

  • Page 3 Simply by understanding the structure of language, you will be able to see who is really insulting you, and who is just exposing their inner fears and weaknesses.
  • Page 9 Any time anybody gives you any trouble, physically or verbally, consider that they only do so because on some level, conscious or unconsciously, they feel they can get away with it. Nobody starts a fight with somebody if they don't exect to win.
  • Page 11 Consider that any insult, overt or covert, is an attempt to establish or demonstrate social status hierarchy.
  • Page 11 Social status is a function of non-verbal communication, (we frequently self-organize into hierarchies without needing extended discussions)
  • Page 12 Some people tend to act abrasive only to see who can push back and who can't. Some are obvious in this, some are not. Building States
  • Page 13 Your inner state will be a very important factor in how well you handle any slights or outright insults.
  • Page 17 Recall the reason why insults and slights come in the first place. Their sole purpose is to establish that you are lower than them on the social status totem pole. ... We need to first worry about not getting knocked off balance before we come up with strategies of retaliation.
  • Page 17 Since most of us can't come up with a comeback relatively quickly, after a few seconds the damage is done. Comebacks only work if they come quick. The main purpose of an insult is to knock us off balance long enough, so everybody can see that we can't come up with a response. This is why sneak attack insults are so deadly. They are essentially the verbal equivalent of a sucker punch.
  • Page 18 Any time anybody says something that is meant to be an insult, you stop, focus only on the words, look at them innocently and ask, "What do you mean?" If asked from a genuine place of confusion, you won't betray a sense of being knocked off guard. Always remember that much of communication is subconscious to subconscious, and very little is about the words. When you ask that simple question, you are ignoring the subconscious intention, and forcing them to explain the surface structure language.
  • Page 19 The purpose of an insult is to demonstrate dominance. To knock you off guard so you can't reply. If you only go limp, then they have won. But by simply asking for clarification, you are essentially forcing them to repeat their attack. You'll find that most of the time, they won't be able to since they weren't expecting this response, especially if there are other people watching. When we get insulted in front of others, it's generally hoped to be a one-punch-knock out on the part of the insulter.
  • Page 20 Always remember that most communication is subconscious. This means if you fear any outcome, even if you don't know about it consciously, you will be projecting that fear. ... If you expect people to be nice, or to not be mean, that's when mean people suddenly show up. .. .Always remember that subconsciously radiated weakness will attract insults.
  • Page 25 The meta model is simple. All you do is find any vague ideas in anything they have said and ask for more specific information. ... One quick way to defuse any insult or comment you don't want to leave hanging there is to simply put yourself in a brain-fade mindset, repeat what they said, and then ask: What do you mean, specifically? ... It is almost certain that any "argument" will use plenty of the classic "non-logical" structures. Straw man, ad hominem attacks, etc. This is because the point of the argument is not logical, but to assert social dominance.
  • Page 29 We can safely assume that any insult or slight as the very ancient might-makes-right strategy behind it. Another common strategy that doesn't work is to try and use actual logical to explain why the other person is incorrect. But when we realize that the main point of the argument is to demonstrate social dominance in front of others, this strategy is certain to fail, especially if it is accompanied by weak subconscious enemy. Unless you have a social circle of Vulcans, fighting a might-makes-right insult with pure logic is not the best strategy.
  • Page 29 We will focus so much on the words we won't use any emotions. In fact, we will focus so much on the words that we will actively ask them to help us understand their words. And it won't take long before we find out that Socrates was right all along. Nobody really can defend what they are saying very much.
  • Page 30 Whenever they say anything like, "Y is X" all you have to do is say this: What is it about Y that makes you think it's X? ... What is it about X that makes you think Y? ... Instead of trying to understand and address their intentions, you just stay on the surface and address the things they've said. ... Training yourself to respond from a curiosity standpoint is fairly simple. ... With only a few simple and calm questions designed to get more clarification, their reasons will soon look silly and foolish.
  • Page 41 If you can take any verbal insult, and flip around so confidently it turns into a playful joke on your attacker, you will earn a lot more status.
  • Page 64 If it is true, that nothing is really objectively true, then the only reason for anybody to have any power is because they have the wherewithal to enforce their power by violence if necessary.
  • Page 65 It's straightforward to see a stranger getting insulted, and then destroy the insulter. But it's also possible to be much more covert. Somebody might be getting a put down, but instead of destroying the attacker, you can take whatever they are saying about the receiver and flip it around to make it a positive statement about the receiver.
  • Page 67 Become a Pig to Eat the Tiger This is a technique from Sun Tzu. It means acting like you are defenseless, tricking your enemy to get close to you, and then destroying them. ... Even better is if you slowly shift from your brain-fade-curiosity mode to the deadpan delivery mode.
  • Page 69 We also have a ton of limiting beliefs. Beliefs that keep us from going after what we want. Unfortunately, these beliefs actually believe (yes, we've anthropomorphized our beliefs, so they can have beliefs of their own) they are protecting us. ... Any area of life where this has happened, or you feel any of these "not deserving" energy is evidence of limiting beliefs. Another piece of evidence is any kind of feeling or suspicion that you are not good enough in some way. Not smart enough, not young enough, not old enough, not adjective enough.
  • Page 73 One belief that has been purposely created by the self-help industry is that our lives can change quickly. On a big scale, our lives can only change as quickly as our beliefs will change.
  • Page 75 The paradox of fear. If we ignore our fears, we tend to increase the chances they'll happen. If we prepare for them, and make ourselves as ready as we can, we tend to decrease their likelihood.
  • Page 77 We all have a common collection of emotional soft spots. ... Loneliness, hunger, lack of money, social rejection, rejection from authority figures. ... All our emotional soft spots, therefore, will be linked to any negative social instincts. Or instincts that make us feel, on a deep level, that we are failing miserably in the eyes of the tribe, both our peers and the leaders.
  • Page 78 Fear of Missing Out (FOMO) ... There are three powerful components of FOMO. ... Social approval, authority disapproval, and a kind of pre-determined conspiracy. [everybody else was in on it! why did they exclude me?!]
  • Page 81 Carnegie started a public speaking program in the early twentieth century. His famous book, "How to Win Friends and Influence People," came from his experiences in teaching self-development. In that book are ten basic principles for creating positive relationships. It stands to reason that if those ten principles will create positive relationships, we can use their opposite to create negative relationships, or at least deliver emotionally painful ideas.
  • Page 82 There is a whole class of language patterns called linguistic presuppositions. These are ideas that are hidden inside of a sentence. The main idea of the sentence is one thing, but the presupposition is hidden inside. ... Why are you being such a jerk today? ... But buried inside that question is the idea that the receiver is being a jerk. ... in addressing the surface structure, they accept the embedded part that they are being a jerk. This is likely the subconscious intention of the alleged question. ... When asking a question, the listener is somewhat involuntarily tricked into trying to answer it. ... Instead of tricking the listener into trying to come up with a specific answer, [rhetorical questions] trick the listener into simply pondering the meta answer.
  • Page 87 Any time you describe a process that is already ongoing, it's hard to stop and question some of the elements. ... These [are] used to describe a sense of knowing or realizing. You connect the idea you want to be believed to a process of knowing or realizing, and it's much harder to disagree with.
  • Page 88 [Commentary Adjectives and Adverbs ] are words like happily, unhappily, luckily, unfortunately. Whatever word or phrases that comes after these are generally much harder to argue with than if you said them directly.
  • Page 88 Subordinate clause of time -- Before, after, since, etc. -- are linked to the idea of cause-effect. This makes them very hard to disagree with.
  • Page 88 Linguistic presuppositions are designed to secretly implant ideas in their minds. ... But since they are vague, the listener will have to come up with their own specific meaning. ... Single Binds The more you X the more you Y....
  • Page 89 Put a simple tag question at the end of the sentence. This will trick the listener into searching for an answer, rather than questioning what was just said.
  • Page 89 [Mind Reading] is when you purport to know what your target is thinking about. This isn't really mind reading, but very accurate guessing. But when you accurately guess about common things, it can seem very accurate. [best to be vague when doing this, let the target fill in the blanks]
  • Page 97 For each of your sworn enemies, start to develop a list of their soft spots. Start off by listing all the authority figures they respect and admire. ... Next is to find people that they would like to think of themselves as an authority figure to. Not necessarily people who actually see them as an authority, although there will be some overlap. These are people that they like to think as their followers. ... Next is to develop a list of their social peers. ... Make an attempt to identify their very close friends, the kind they would help out or ask for help in dire situations. ... People whom they would not like to see rise above them on the social hierarchy. People they are secretly jealous of. People whom they pretend to like publicly, but you have an idea they secretly loathe.
  • Page 108 The best defense is to simply stay calm. As mentioned, any negative statement or suggestion that is meant to put you off balance won't work if it is treated purely as an objective statement.
  • Page 108 A common tactic is to toss out a statement, and then mentally retreat if it doesn't work. This is when people say, "I was just saying..." Whenever anybody says, "Just saying," that indicates the thing they said before that statement didn't get the result they were hoping for.
  • Page 109 Since most people never plan what they are going to say, suddenly being on the spot and having to explain exactly why they chose the words they did is not anything anybody can respond to without feeling a lot of pressure.
  • Page 109 Our brains are trained to shift into "question-answer" mode as soon as we hear a Wh- word. Why, when, which, what, etc.
  • Page 119 The linguistic presuppositions others use will reveal their true inner beliefs, many of which are unknown even to them.
  • Page 119 Skilled therapists, counselors, and even interrogators have trained themselves to listen carefully to the specific language patterns used to see what's really going on beneath the surface.
  • Page 122 A positive way to help lead deeper discussion without asking outright or direct questions is to give them two choices. Two choices where one of them has a good chance of being right. Most people don't have a lot of answers beyond the words they put up on the surface. So, asking direct questions, even to friends, may create feelings of anxiety. But when you can do their thinking for them, and come up with options they can choose from, this will help further the discussion, and deepen the connection.
  • Page 126 Unless somebody is dictating surgery or explaining a technical process over the phone, nearly all human communication is related to the ancient struggle of social status. When people talk behind people's back, or gaslight, or use any other covertly underhanded language, they are doing it from a point of weakness. People that generally feel a strong sense of social status don't need to belittle others.