The Secret Recipe Revealed

1. Talk to everyone -- cast a wide net
   cold read
   1. observe closely what they are wearing, how they carry themselves, the setting, their mood, what they are saying to others
   2. make inferences about who they want to think they are and then
   3. ask questions or make statements about them to see how they respond -- you look like you could use a drink. Are you lost? Wow, is that the lates Tagheur?
   4. draw inferences about who they are based on the answers
   5. test the effectiveness of each inference
   6. repeat
2. Listen carefully for details that suggest a longing, what do they yearn for, what motivates or triggers them?
   start light, no pressure, just imply the promise of more fun and games and gifts / surprises
   mirror: reflect their words, actions, postures -- Ohio!? Really, I have a cousin ...
   empathize: make them feel special, important, seen, heard, appreciated
   fascinate: be mysterious, randomly exciting, unpredictably rewarding, occasionally absent without explanation
3. Once you know who they are and what the want, decide your angle
   1. mommy, daddy, benefactor, partner in crime, party pal, sexual fantasy, a connect, a resource, hero, mentor, travel guide, sage, guru?
      you may need to intensify your role over time -- bother, older brother, uncle, daddy
4. Once you know your angle
   1. give them a taste -- make them hopeful
   2. make them pay
      dominate, you are never wrong, their objections are always overruled, they are confused, crazy, hallucinating
   3. give them another taste -- make them even more hopeful
   4. make them pay again but more this time -- the more a person invests, the more trapped they are in the hope of success
   5. withhold -- tighten the rope, set the hook -- by painting an even more vivid picture of the joy they long for while giving them nothing but obstacles they want to overcome to prove their worthiness
      the obstacles are faults they need to correct; they need to believe more, try harder, root out their doubts, confess their sins, humiliate themselves further, increase their contributions, bring in more clients, etc.
   6. escalate
      more promises, more tastes, more obstacles they evermore desperately want to overcome
      if you can keep this process going long enough, they will mistake it for reality
   7. work them until they are no longer useful
5. Dismiss them
   1. give them to another dark rhetor
   2. put them to work in some related way
   3. ostracize them
   4. ghost them
6. Move on to your next opportunity
   Churn, burn, rewind
7. If at any point you don't get what you need next, get out. No gambler's fallacy, no remorse.